Snape and Bella! UNITE!
by goatsandboats
Summary: Random things that happen to Snape and Bella when they were at Hogwarts. Really random and really funny! Please read and review!
1. Whispering

**Chapter One: Whispering**

**Summary: Short stories about mostly Snape and Bella and what happened in their Hogwarts days.**

**This fan fiction was written by my friend, KD, but she does not have an account so I posted it up here. THIS IS ALL HERS! NONE OF IT IS MINE! Actually it wasn't even suppose to be a fan fiction, but whatever, it's funny enough, so that's why its here. This is pure randomness and weird…ness. **

**Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter…or anything else for that matter. ALso we don't own any of the jokes that we used.**

One day, Severus Snape and Bellatrix Black decided to go on a date. Snape and Bella's idea of a good time for a date was to go to the Chamber of Secrets and have a picnic. Snape can speak Parseltongue because he is just so evil like that and he went to go open the door.

"OPEN!" Snape said in his announcer voice. Needless to say, the door opened and they went in.

The hall was quiet…TOO quiet. The only thing they could hear was the sound of distant hissing, ringing in their heads.

Bella decided to start singing "Ring Around the Rosy" right behind Snape. Snape jumped up about three feet in the air and fell into a puddle of water. But I mean, come on, nothing is more scary than little girls (or Bella) singing "Ring Around the Rosy."

So anyways, fortunately, the water washed out all of the grease from Snape's hair. Bella liked it. A lot. Just then, Snape and Bella started to have a make out session right there on the floor.

Suddenly, Tom Riddle entered, riding on the snake's back, which interrupted their make out session.

"BELLA!" Voldemort screamed, "HOW COULD YOU!" He started to cry right there on the spot.

Bella and Snape looked guiltily around the chamber and were about to go and comfort him, when suddenly in a really good announcer voice (**AN: But not as good as KD's announcer voice**) and shouted, "WELL RIDDLE ME THIS BELLA! WHAT BUILDING HAS THE MOST STORIES?"

Bella looked dumb stricken.

Snape snorted, "That one again?" Snape has been with Voldemort too long, he has heard all of his riddles. Just because his last name was Riddle, didn't mean he should have looked up all the riddles in the universe.

"THE LIBRARY!" Snape finally answered Voldemort's riddle.

"Well, I bet you never heard of this one before!" Voldemort took a breath of air, "KNOCK KNOCK!" He said in a very good announcer voice.

Snape and Bella looked confused.. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bella screamed, "OH MY GOD! ALL THAT STUPID HISSING FROM YOUR SNAKE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!" She pulled out her wand and silenced the chamber, so only Snape, Bella, and Voldemort could be heard.

"I SAID KNOCK KNOCK!" Voldemort said looking slightly annoyed.

Bella started whispering to Snape, "This is so corny, what's with all the knock knock jokes?"

Snape turned to look at her, "Why are we whispering? We are the only ones here, and anyways we silenced the room."

"Oh right." Bella said looking deflated.

"Fine Voldemort, I'll answer you," Snape said very bravely, even though he wasn't in Gryffindor, "WHO'S THERE?"

"YOU KNOW!"

"YOU KNOW WHO?" Snape and Bella asked.

"THAT'S RIGHT! ME! AVADA KEDAVRA!" Then Snape and Bella died. Voldemort laughed a high pitched girly laugh that mocked all other girly laughs.

Voldemort unsilenced the room and shouted to the world, "NOW TO GO GET SOME OF MRS. POTTER'S BONBONS!" He said all of this, of course, in his best announcer voice. "BUT JUST IN CASE," Voldemort added, "IN CASE I SOMEHOW DIE, BUT DON'T WANT TO DIE. I WILL PRESERVE MYSELF IN THIS CONVENIENTLY LOCATED DIARY RIGHT AT MY FEET!"

And on that final note, Voldemort ran off with his snake (**AN: Naughty!**) and went to cause havoc to the world above.

**AN: The end of chapter one! Yay! Originally this was going to be a one shot, but then I realized there was way too much for just one chapter. Sorry if there are any mistakes spelling or grammar wise. PLEASE REVIEW! WE LOVE REVIEWS!**


	2. My Elf is on Fire!

**Chapter Two: My Elf is on Fire!**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything. **

Somehow, after Voldemort killed Snape and Bella, they came back to life with a potion that Snape had in his pocket. This mysterious bottle potion thing has a really long name, which I will not say here because I cannot spell it. How they got the potion bottle out when they are dead is a mystery, but that is not the point of the story. Just a minor flaw which you should ignore. Right.

Bella and Snape decided that the chamber was actually really dangerous so they decided to leave. They walked back up to the Hogwarts castle and were hungry. Unfortunately, they lost track of time and it was actually 11:00 at night.

"DAMN!" Bella cursed, "I'M SO HUNGRY!" She practically screamed.

"SHUT UP BELLA!" Snape shouted over her screaming, which was rather hard. "We'll get caught if we stay out here. Let's just go and find where the house-elves are. They are bound to give us food!"

Together they walked around for a while, trying to find where the house-elves were. After a while they stopped in front of a large picture of a bowl of fruit.

"HAHAHHAHAHA! THERE'S A PEAR!" Bella practically screamed again.

"SHUT UP YOU TWIT! I'm trying to think. I've always seen that stupid Potter come around here and do something with the picture. Now what was it…?"

"Perhaps he kissed the pear?" Bella suggested.

"It's worth a shot."

Snape went and kissed the pear, much to Bella's delight. Nothing happened.

Bella suggested, "Perhaps we have to dance for the pear?"

Bella and Snape did the tango together much to the amusement of the other paintings in the corridor. Snape started to break dance. Needless to say, this did not work. But was very funny.

"Maybe we have to do something to the painting." Bella suggested.

"BURN IT!" Snape said laughing manically. It sounded kind of like this: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"No you moron!" Bella hissed at Snape," I mean like touch it or something."

"How about we tickle it?"

Bella proceeded to go up and tickle the apple and the bananas.

"How about the pear?" Snape said rolling his eyes.

"Oh right! I forgot about the pear!" She went and tickled the pear and the painting opened. They rejoiced by break dancing.

Finally after much break dancing, they entered the kitchens to find hundreds of house-elves all cooking stuff for no apparent reason. They entered and the house-elves smiled and waved.

"Awwwwww." Bella cooed, "They are all so cute looking! I want one…NOW!" She pointed to one of them, this little cute one with a tiny little pink bow on top of it head.

"Bella, don't you already have like…12?" Snape asked her raising one eyebrow, making him look completely evil.

"Yeah…but I want one NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Snape picked up another house-elf named Mr. Smiggledorf. Mr. Smiggledorf had a monocle. He was a very distinguished house-elf. Mr. Smiggledorf didn't like Snape. In fact, he thought of him as a slimy greasy-haired git. He got that from his already favorite masters, James and Sirius. He knew all about how horrible Snape was and decided to protest. He picked up a pot which he decided would make a good sign and drew a bottle of grease with a X over it.

Mr. Smiggledorf began to chant, "NO GREASE! NO GREASE! NO GREASE!"

Snape and Bella looked confused. Very confused.

Just then, one of the other house-elves remembered that he didn't like Snape and Bella. But then again, that particular house-elf didn't like Mr. Smiggledorf either. Mr. Smiggledorf did too many Mr. Darcy poses and talked in a long drawly boring British voice. It got kind of annoying.

So this particular house-elf, whose name is Jimmy, decided that instead of attacking Snape, he would attack Mr. Smiggledorf. He produced fire from his finger and went to go attack Mr. Smiggledorf. But he accidentally slipped on some mango salsa that was on the floor and stumbled into Mr. Smiggledorf, who promptly got off from the floor (it wasn't dignified). Jimmy did a somersault and collided with Snape, who fell on to the floor, writhing in pain.

Snape screamed, "MY ELF IS ON FIRE!"

Bella could not stop from laughing at this point. Neither could all of the other elves, they were all laughing, even Mr. Smiggledorf.

Just then, the painting opened and in walked Sirius and James. Mr. Smiggledorf promptly went and told them what happened to Snape.

Needless to say, Snape never really forgot this incident.

**AN: Sorry if it's a little confusing, just draw up your own conclusions. PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS LOVED!**


	3. Pudding

**Chapter 3: Pudding**

**AN: YAY FOR REVIEWS! I'm so happy that people reviewed! Also if you like this story, you should read Siriusly Random.**

**Disclaimer: I really don't want to keep writing this…so I won't! This is the last time (for this fan fiction) you will ever hear me say that I don't own anything!**

Many weeks after Bella watched Snape get his elf caught on fire, Snape decided to come up with a plan to get back at Sirius for the awfully horrible rumor he spread around the school. Of course it was about when he got his elf on fire, but naturally it was the Marauder's who spread it first. Bella, however, thought that it was hysterical that Snape was being tormented, for she was a sadistic little girl.

"I'LL SHOW THEM!" Snape shouted one day after yet another Slytherin asked if his elf was doing much better. "I will devise a plan so cunning, so diabolical, that everyone in the entire world will bow down to me! MUAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA!"

Bella started to back away from Snape. She decided to tell the world what she had just discovered. She decided that the best person to tell was her good for nothing cousin, Sirius. However, Sirius was nowhere to be found. She looked in his common room, she even went to the house-elves kitchens…but nothing.

Feeling slightly angry, defeated, and oh so sexy, she decided to have a cookie. She was heading toward the kitchens when she heard a door open and her cousin running, for dear life, down the hallway, his hair falling in front of his face, and holding what appeared to be someone's robes. He turned the corner so fast that he collided right into Bella, who fell and broke her high heel.

"SIRIUS! THESE WERE BRAND NEW!"

Sirius, however, was not listening. Instead he started running away again.

"COME BACK HERE SIRIUS!"

Bella started chasing after him with both of her shoes in her hand. Finally all the way up on the seventh floor, Sirius decided it was safe to stop. He was breathing rather hard and laughing to himself, picking up the witch robes.

Bella noticed that these robes had what looked like pudding all over them.

"BLACK!"

Sirius jumped about a foot into the air and dropped the robes, unaware that Bella was indeed following him.

"Bella, what do you want?"

Bella starred at Sirius. All down his front, he was covered in pudding. "I was just wondering, if I could perhaps tell you something…a secret something.

Sirius looked wary at this, but eventually put down the pudding covered witch robes and made a couple steps toward her.

"Make it quick Bella." Sirius said looking down the corridor, "Let's just say, McGonagall's not happy with me at the moment.

"All right, then I'll get straight to the point. Snape is devising a plan so diabolical, so evil, so cunning, that he says everyone in the world will bow down to him! This plan of his is going to destroy you!" And with that she laughed as though she found this hysterically funny.

Sirius merely raised an eyebrow at her, "Oh really? Well I better go and warn all of the girls at this school. They are sure to miss me and my hotness. Excuse me." And with that he picked up his pudding covered robes and ran back down the corridor and out of sight.

"I think I will go and get that cookie now." Bella thought to herself.

She hummed a little tune called "Werewolves of London" to herself as she made her way down towards the kitchens.

Suddenly Snape came around the corner looking quite calm.

"Hey Severus," Bella said gleefully, "Are you going to go find Sirius and kill him now?" She really hoped he would.

"No." Snape said simply.

"Why not!" Bella's world as she knew it, was now officially over. She didn't know what to do. Sirius! Not dead! She couldn't imagine that. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed to the heavens. "WHY NOT?"

Snape merely laughed, "Because! Didn't you hear? Peter Pettigrew had a little "accident" in potions class and he somehow managed to catch his whole head on fire. He ran screaming into the Great Hall where Dumbledore had to dump a whole thing of wine on top of his head! No more elf jokes! No, I'll leave poor Black alone.

He laughed and said, "I want a shrimp puff. I think I'll go and get some shrimp puffs." He skipped all the way down the hallway. It was very girly.

Bella didn't know what to do. She went to go find her cousin, who unknowingly to her, was devising a plan against Severus. It involved lots and lots of pudding.. Remus was to lie down in the middle of the hallway when Severus came around the corner and act like Snape had just punched him or something like that. James was then, to run over and start yelling at Snape about how on earth could he hurt a poor creature like Moony. Sirius was on the ceiling, with a bunch of buckets that released pudding when a string was pulled. Their plan was to make Severus walk into one of these ropes that they hid with an invisibility charm and dump pudding all over his head. It was the perfect plan, nothing could go wrong.

Except that Bella did not know of this.

She turned the corner and found Sirius's extremely book-wormy friend, Remus, standing in the hallway, humming and looking quite bored, as if he was waiting for something.

"REMUS!" She shouted.

Remus jumped slightly and looked at Bella. She was too far away for Remus to tell who it was and he fell to the floor acting as if he was hit with a spell. He was yelling and screaming as if she had done the Cruciatus Curse.

"Remus get up! I need to ask you something!"

James jumped out and Sirius looked around the corner smiling until he saw that it was Bella and not Snape. _Uh oh_, he thought to himself.

He tried to stop James but it was too late, he was yelling to no one in particular that Moony was attacked. McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Professor Slughorn all came around the corner and saw Remus on the ground and James acting like Remus was dead.

Bella walked forward and it released Sirius's pudding.

She was completely covered from head to toe in chocolate pudding.

A bunch on students were leaving class at that point and saw the whole thing. They burst out laughing and that's when Bella saw Sirius, he was frozen in his place and she glared menacingly at him.

_Uh oh_, thought Sirius again.

Sirius walked forward and grabbed Sirius by the shirt and yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you! What was all this for!"

"Snape." Replied Sirius laughing slightly, "But apparently, you're not Snape. No problem though, I'll get him next time."

"You do know that he is not devising any more plans to kill you?"

Sirius looked crestfallen, "So…he doesn't have a secret plan to take over the world?" Sirius looked upset. _Damn! _He thought to himself, _so much pudding wasted!_

Sirius was really hungry and Bella was covered from head to toe in chocolate pudding, _well_, he thought to himself, _it would be such a waste to have all this pudding well…wasted!_

He scooped up some pudding with his finger and ate some.

Bella was fuming. She began chasing Sirius all around the castle, leaving all the other students laughing. They eventually made their way back to the corridor where everyone was still laughing. They liked to laugh a lot.

Snape came back eating some shrimp puffs. He looked at Bella and asked, laughing, "What's been going on?"

**AN: PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. TOGA! TOGA!

**Chapter 4: TOGA! TOGA!**

It was a hot day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professor Slughorn was teaching them all to make cooling potions to help with the extreme heat of the day. However, Severus Snape was not listening to a single word this buffoon was telling them. Severus already knew way too much about potions to be bothered by him today. For today, Snape had something else on his mind. What might that be you ask? Well it was his birthday of course!

Yes indeed, Snape's birthday. Even the heat of the day couldn't bother him on his special day. He loved his birthday. Most of the time Bella and him spent the day underneath the tree by the lake snogging. It was a tradition in his eyes and he was really looking forward to it.

Snape's attention was drawn only for a moment when that stupid Potter boy's potion blew up in his and that god awful Sirius Black's face. Instead of being scared that their faces were going to melt off, they were merely rolling on the floor with laughter. Fools.

Soon, however, potions was indeed over, and Snape and Bella headed out of the classroom discussing about how they were one day going to take over the world. It was lunch and Snape and Bella headed for the Great Hall to have sandwiches. They loved sandwiches. Especially ones with Dijon mustard. They both loved Dijon mustard. Why they like Dijon mustard you ask? Well I'll let your imaginations figure that one out.

Bella and Snape were sitting with their good friends Narcissa and Macnaire. Randomly, Bella said something that made milk come out of Severus's' nose.

"Snape dearest," Bella began nicely, "I think this year instead of our usual snogging, we should throw a toga party." Snape's reaction was, well, not what anyone expected. Like I said earlier, milk came out of his nose.

"BUT WE ALWAYS SNOG!" Snape yelled so that the whole Great Hall stopped and starred at the Slytherin table. Snape couldn't believe it. It just wasn't possible! How could he not have a birthday where they didn't snog! It was unreal! He was just about to tell Bella this, when Macnaire cut in.

"Look. A toga party would liven things up. I mean come on, who hasn't wanted to go to a toga party?" He looked around for encouragement. Luckily, all of the Slytherins are obsessed with toga parties. So they naturally all nodded in agreement.

"Then it's settled then." Narcissa said smiling and pushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder, "We will have a toga party here in the Great Hall at 7:00."

And with that, all of the Slytherins got up and left. Unknown to all of the Slytherins, word of the party started to spread throughout the school like wildfire. This may have been because of a certain marauder, by the name of James Potter, hiding underneath the table of the Slytherins, trying to get away from McGonagall. He overheard the whole thing and decided that it just wouldn't be fair of Severus to not have the biggest bash of the century in his honor. James went and told his good friends Sirius and Remus all about the party and the three of them told everyone in the common room, all the paintings, ghosts, even some of the owls, if they would sit still and listen long enough. By seven o'clock, word was out to everyone and slowly but surely all of the school was dressed in togas and heading to the Great Hall.

Back in the Slytherin dormitories, Snape was trying to choose between two identical looking bed sheets to use as a toga. One was a slightly off white color while the other one was Egyptian cotton. He decided to go with the Egyptian cotton ones because they just felt so darn nice on his chest.

"And now for the final touch" He thought to himself, "A green wreath to go on top of my head." He placed it lovingly on top of his head and proceeded to check himself out in the mirror. He was so darn sexy.

He met up with the rest of the Slytherins in the Great Hall and proceeded to party. Bella wanted to get him a present to commence his birthday. She had bought him a snake, a beautiful long sleek snake. The only problem was that the snake would only respond to them if they said 'snake'. Snape decided to name his treasured snake after himself, he named the snake: Super Sexy Snape Snake.

Snape was break dancing with Bella and Narcissa, when suddenly they heard people entering the Great Hall.

DAMN IT ALL! Thought Snape suddenly to himself , "It's that no good Potter and his lousy friends." However, it was getting worse, not only was it Potter and Black, but soon Hufflepuffs were showing up and wait! No that couldn't be! IT IS! Snape thought suddenly to himself. Horrific flashes passed Snape's mind and he felt like he was going to scream. It was professor Slughorn, himself, in a toga.

After about ten minutes, the whole school had gathered in the Great Hall and everyone was dancing with each other in togas. Even some of the paintings came wearing togas. The ghosts all sat towards the entry way marveling at the young students and their togas.

Sirius Black and James Potter were dancing with roughly 17 girls, all wearing togas. Remus was making out with some random girl in the corner. Snape himself was getting slightly tipsy. He was drinking some of the punch, but that's not right. There is no alcohol in punch…is there?

Suddenly Bella came over with extremely rosy cheeks and was singing happy birthday, badly i might add, to Snape. She hiccupped and started making out with the birthday boy.

Snape pushed her off and looked at her. She was completely and totally smashed. What was going on? Suddenly from across the room he saw Sirius and James laughing and pulling out two very large bottles of Firewhiskey. They proceeded to pour it into the punch. They quietly snuck off as if nothing happened and proceed to make out with two girls from Ravenclaw.

Anger jetted through Snape like a lightening bolt. How on earth could they do this on his birthday! They didn't even like each other! But the more he was looking at Bella's longing look to make out with him, the more he started to reconsider. Perhaps, this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

The party was in full swing by the time it hit midnight. Everyone was slightly tipsy and happily dancing away with everyone around them. The highlight of the evening was when Snape and Professor Slughorn decided to show off their superior break dancing skills. They were just about to spin on their heads, when the door to the Great Hall banged open and there stood Professor McGonagall and the headmaster himself.

From somewhere in the back, he heard Sirius and James whisper to each other, "BUSTED!"

McGonagall looked as if she was ready to start handing out suspensions. No one was moving. Professor Dumbledore, however, was looking very confused. It took a few seconds for Severus to realize that Professor Dumbledore was not wearing robes. He was in fact wearing disco dancing clothing. He was looking around at all of the students wearing togas with a slight smile on his face.

Professor McGonagall was yelling at all of the students when suddenly Dumbledore silenced her with his wand and asked all of the students very calmly, "You mean to tell us that this isn't the Gryffindor disco?"

All of the students merely starred when suddenly Sirius shouted from the back of the room, "No this isn't the disco. That was last month. THIS month is Snivellus's birthday bash and it's a toga themed party."

Dumbledore smiled and said to them all, "Well then. LET'S PARTY ON SHALL WE!"

All of the students were stunned but parted as Dumbledore started up the music again and began to dance with Professor Slughorn. It was indeed the oddest thing any of them had ever seen. Many of the students that night wondered how Dumbledore knew about the party, many of them came up with the same conclusion: Dumbledore never sleeps.

The party went on and Severus got in his snogging time with his beloved Bella. Severus quietly left at around 5:30 in the morning and headed back to the Slytherin common room. Severus passed many people either passed out on the floor or making out with people in random corridors. Snape fell asleep in his bed early in the morning while still wearing his toga. It was after all rather fun wearing a toga.

**AN: PLEASE REVIEW!**


	5. MY EYES! IT BURNS!

**Chapter 5: MY EYES! IT BURNS!**

It was a very cold December morning. So cold, in fact, many of the students were getting frost bite. But these frost bitten students are not important right now. What is important is Snape. He is very important.

Snape and Bella were sitting alone in the common room right by the fire. They pushed everyone else away so they could get the best spots right by the fire, so they could brag about not being cold. Bella was bored. She had already done her homework and Snape was being boring, talking about defense against the dark arts. Again. What Bella really wanted to do right now was make something. Something warm that you could eat. Just then one of the much younger first years came into the room with some weird muggle food called cheetos.

"Huh," thought Bella, "those things look good. Even if they are for muggles. Perhaps I could use those." She went over and punched the poor first year in the stomach and took his cheetos. Snape kept on talking as if she had never left.

"Did you know that there is actually a spell that can protect your mind! Yeah, it's called occlumency. It's so FASCINATING!" Snape droned on. Bella rolled her eyes.

"Fascinating." She said curtly. "I'm bored Snapey poo. Lets make something." She said very sweetly.

Snape merely stared at her. "Make something?" he questioned. "Like what, a potion?"

"NO!" Bella snipped. "I mean cook something. Look, I found these things called Cheetos! I'm going to make them nice and warm so that we can walk around the castle without wearing our jackets and make fun of those who are saying that they are cold and we're not! Won't that be fun?" Bella smiled.

Soon enough, Snape and Bella were walking along the corridors towards the house-elf kitchens for supplies. Snape and Bella tickled the pear in the bowl of fruit painting and were soon in the kitchens, getting everything they thought would make good hot or warm sensations in their bodies. They were just about to leave when they ran into Mr. Smiggledorf. He burst out laughing when he saw Snape. Snape and Bella glared at the giggling house elf. They stormed out of the kitchens and headed down the corridors and back to their dormitories.

They were just about to get to their common room, when James and Sirius popped out from behind a corner and screamed. Snape was so startled by this, that he dropped all the food he was holding and jumped into Bella's arms screaming. Sirius and James were crying they were laughing so hard at ol' Snapey poo's reaction.

Bella sighed and dropped Snape on the floor, who was still screaming. She was just about to pick up the cheetos, when she saw her stupid cousin pick up the bag.

"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetos," Sirius sounded out, "What the bloody hell are Cheeeeeeetos?"

James looked at them and replied, "I think they're a muggle snack food." James looked proud of himself to remember something like that.

Sirius, however, was looking at Bella. "Why on earth do YOU have muggle food? You hate muggles."

Bella glared, "FOR YOUR INFORMATION!" She screamed at Sirius, "We're cooking up something to warm us up." Bella smiled.

"Sounds like fun. Mind if we try it too?" James said.

Snape had finally stopped screaming. "You? Cook? That I've got to see. All right. We'll have a little competition. Whoever makes the better spicy hot cheetos wins. What shall we play for?"

They all sat and started stroking imaginary beards in thought. After a half an hour of sitting and stroking, Bella said, "I got it." They all starred at her waiting for her answer. "Which ever team loses has to streak through the Great Hall at dinner in front of the whole school."

James and Sirius smiled. "It's no problem for me" Sirius said, "I know a lot of girls out there who would love it."

They all stood up and shook hands agreeing. "We will meet at 2:00 in the morning in the Great Hall. Got it?" Bella sneered. They all nodded and headed off to their common rooms.

After many tries, Snape and Bella thought they had found the perfect one. It was so hot that it made smoke come out of their mouths. They headed down to the Great Hall.

When they got to the Great Hall, James and Sirius were standing there, waiting for them.

"What took you so long?" Sirius asked.

James shushed him. "We've only been here for two minutes!"

Sirius looked shocked. "TWO MINUTES! I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY ONE!"

James sighed and shook his head. "Well after you Snivellus. Bella." He opened the door and to all their surprises, Dumbledore was sitting there.

They all jumped and started to run away when Dumbledore stopped them. "What are you children doing?" he asked.

James spoke up, "Well you see professor…we were just…going to practice our dance moves!"

Snape and Bella looked at him like he was crazy.

Sirius who always catches on fast answered, "Yes, you see, we like dancing at 2:00 in the morning." Sirius looked at them expectantly and they all nodded.

Snape suddenly started dancing and did jazz hands. They all stared at him.

"Well carry on my dear pupils." He then left.

James asked, "Why is he up at 2:00 in the morning in the Great Hall?"

Sirius turned to James and said , "I'm telling you mate. He does not sleep!" James nodded. They pulled out their bag of cheetos and walked over to the nearest table and put it on the table. Snape and Bella did the same.

"All right. I say we try Snape and Bella's first. After all, it was their idea." James said.

Sirius nodded and picked up one of the cheetos and waited for James to do the same. James picked one up and they looked at each other and nodded and popped them into their mouths. Snape and Bella were smiling gleefully. They could not wait for the smoke. James and Sirius continued chewing when suddenly Sirius yelled and smoke came out of his mouth. James proceeded to do the same. They swallowed the rest and looked at each other and laughed.

"That was pretty good." Sirius said smiling.

"Your turn to try ours." James said smiling a very wicked smile. Sirius had the same smile plastered on his face. Bella saw this and was just about to warn Snape when suddenly she saw Snape put the cheetos in his mouth.

It happened very quickly, one second Snape was standing upright chewing and suddenly fire was coming out of his mouth. He was screaming and running around in circles trying to get the fire out of his mouth.

"WHAT DID YOU PUT INTO THOSE CHEETOS?" Bella screamed.

"Nothing…just some drop of volcano essence. Why? Isn't that what you put in yours?" Sirius said smiling.

Bella was stunned. "Oh well" She thought, "At least I didn't eat one of those things."

"Is he going to be all right?" Bella asked as Snape dunked his whole face into a pitcher of ice water.

"Don't worry!" James said smiling. "The worst he'll get is third degree burns!" James smiled.

Sirius sniggered, watching Snape's hair finally be cleaned from all the grease.

"Well!" Sirius said clapping his hand on Snape's back, "It appears that we have indeed won this little contest! So I guess that means that at dinner tonight, we get to see you all again, a lot more of you again. Have fun getting nude! See ya!" James and Sirius then ran out of the Great Hall laughing.

At dinner, Snape and Bella wore long black trench coats. What no one else knew was that they were completely nude underneath. Bella shivered. After all, it was December.

They came in to see James, Sirius, Remus and that little runt Peter all sitting there. Bella had just one question to ask them before they started.

She walked over to their table and looked at Sirius and said, "Who exactly did you practice your Cheetos on earlier?"

Sirius smiled and said, "Peter of course." Bella looked over at Peter, he had a big block of ice on his plate and he was licking it contently. "Riiiiiiiiight, just asking." Sirius laughed as she walked away back to the table.

Halfway through dinner, Snape and Bella stood up. They both walked up to the staff table and looked at each other and let their coats drop to the floor. The whole hall screamed and gasped. Sirius and James were rolling on the floor with laughter, suddenly they saw Remus take a picture and run from the Great Hall before they could take it from them. Soon the whole hall was laughing. Snape and Bella turned around to look at the staff table. Dumbledore was laughing and McGonagall was taking off tons and tons of house points all while blushing.

Professor Flitwick was clearly being heard screaming over all the noise, "MY EYES! IT BUUUUUUUUUURNS!"

Needless to say, no one looked at Snape and Bella the same way again.

**AN:PLEASE Review!**


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